"My Angel" by Marti
Saturday, September 12, 2009 at 6:00AM Today's layout comes from our fabulous guest contributor, Marti. (Thanks for your patience in waiting for it...it's worth it!) Here's what she had to say:
This layout is of my first grandchild, Quincey. He arrived on December 29, 2004 and left us on January 3, 2005. He was born with only a brain stem, which was not sufficient to keep his body alive and functioning properly. He was a beautiful little baby - the image of his father (my son Sean). It still hurts so much to think about, but I am determined to celebrate his life. In trying to avoid feeling the pain of losing him, I have failed to honor his memory completely. I loved him beyond measure and I know he was sent here for a special reason. I am so grateful for this blog and the opportunity I have to share this special little guy with everyone.
;)
Journaling (hidden behind photo):
For five days I was a grandma.
Five joyful but heartbreaking days.
Five days to try to give him a lifetime of love.
It is amazing how much you can grow to love someone in such a brief period of time. I never had the chance to behold him in person, yet I have memorized every part of his little face. My arms will always ache to hold him. My nose longs to breathe in his baby smells. My ears strain to hear his little voice. He was so very precious to me, yet I have failed to celebrate his life, as I should have. The pain was too great, the sorrow too deep. The grief consumed me until I thought I would die, too. It has been almost five years, yet it feels so fresh. I don’t understand why this happened, but I know that his brief life had a purpose and a meaning. I will live the rest of my days remembering the joy he brought into my heart. I know other grandchildren will come along in the years to come, but Quincey will always be my special little angel. My first grandbaby.
Thanks, Marti, for sharing this! Stay tuned, all, for the next challenge...which will go up on September 15!
Reader Comments (15)
Hugs to you, Marti! Your journaling is so open and honest and I can feel your pain.
Thank you for sharing Marti. Your grief and your love for your grandson are so apparent - and you have honored his memory in this layout.
Thank you so much for your kind words. They truly mean more to me than I can express.
Hey Marti, I had been waiting and waiting to read the journaling. He is such a beautiful baby. Thanks for sharing his amazing few days with us, what a blessing he is to have as your grandbaby. Hugs to you!
Marti hugs to you and thank you for sharing such heartfelt journaling along wtih your beautiful layout.
Marti, you know I love you, right? :) He's seriously such a beautiful baby!
Thank you, everyone!!! I think he was pretty darned cute, too. :oD
Thank you, Amanda, for giving us this forum. It was really nice to be able to share Quincey with everyone. I am finally getting my chance to be a very proud and happy Grandma (which makes me sound far older than I am). Love you, too, girlie!
I am going through the same situation myself atm. Elissa was born on 31-5-09 and died 2 hrs later. My 4th grandchild who is now in Heaven. Everybody keeps asking me how Melanie(Elissa's Mother) is but nobody has asked me how I am doing. I don't think people realise that grandma's suffer also. I know they don't mean anything by it but it would be nice to be asked. However, I know God is with me and helping me through this. I have a few tributes on my blog and have begun a hand made album of Elissa. If you want me to send the links please ask and i will as it might help other grandma's out there going through what I am.
Rose-Ann - I would love the links! Thank you. I think the hardest part of losing a grandchild is the fact that it is a two-fold grief: the actual loss, plus the pain of watching your own child go through the worst pain a parent can feel. It was so difficult to see Sean hurt so badly, and know there wasn't a thing I could do or say that would make it better. I was absolutely helpless. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family, Rose-Ann. I am so very sorry for your loss.
Marti! Thanks for posting this LO. Your attitude of celebrating your baby Quincey's life! That's what I'm trying to learn! Your journaling gives me a great perspective from which I can learn! Hugs!
Quincey was my first great-grandchild and he was a beautiful little boy who looked just like his Dad Sean, my grandson. Marti you have such a beautiful soul and spirit and are the best daughter and mom to your children anyone could ever ask for. You are a special woman and I know you grief for your grandson Quincey, you will see his perfect body someday and you will know him. Until then I know you celebrate his life and love him deeply. I love you.
Quincey was my first great-grandchild and he was a beautiful little boy who looked just like his Dad Sean, my grandson. Marti you have such a beautiful soul and spirit and are the best daughter and mom to your children anyone could ever ask for. You are a special woman and I know you grief for your grandson Quincey, you will see his perfect body someday and you will know him. Until then I know you celebrate his life and love him deeply. I love you.
Wow, your journaling gave me chills, Marti. Thank you for sharing your honest feelings with all of us ... simply beautiful. I appreciate you introducing us to Quincey, as well as the feelings you experienced. I'm so sorry for your loss. (((hugs)))
Love this Marti and your journaling is very special. Your baby was sweet. I can't imagine how heartbroken you are. Hugs dear friend!
Your comments mean so much to me. Thank you again. I was honored to share him with all of you. And thanks, Mom! :oD