"It Will Be Okay" by Jennifer
Thursday, May 13, 2010 at 6:00AM And here's our special guest contributor, Jennifer:
My single moment here was not only the snapshot picture and the only one I would ever get, but the journaling also speaks of where I am at this moment with finally being able to put it away. Definitely one of the hardest LOs I ever did, took me forever and it actually surprised me. I kept wanting to do more to it to make the process take longer and not have to say I was done. I could feel the therapy in the process...
;)
Here's the journaling:
I heard this phrase a lot from people as I went through this experience. And quite honestly I repeated it to myself internally even more in an attempt to convince myself. And in some ways it was right. I am okay. A little over eight years later and I can finally choose to put this picture away. I will honor it, but I finally won't look at it any more and wonder. At this very moment I am acknowledging that this is what was meant to happen, or not happen, and I was meant to have this experience of a miscarriage in order to alter my path and alter who I am. I found strength in myself I never knew I had. Four weeks after this picture was taken and after we had told everyone of our news, I lost this baby. I believe I was left with a scar on my heart. I healed, but scar tissue still remains. But I shared and I talked and I found I was very not alone. I now believe that that hard experiences do make you stronger. I now believe things happen for a reason. I now believe we need each other in so many ways. I'll never forget. But I am a different person, possibly a better one from the experience. I'll be okay.
Don't forget to share your own take on this challenge! Post a link in the comments of the original challenge post, okay? Thanks! A new challenge will go up on the 15th...
Reader Comments (3)
Thanks for honoring my moment, Amanda.
No, Jennifer, thank YOU for sharing it. :) I don't have personal experience with this heartbreak but love your analogy about scar tissue remaining and making you stronger...so true for loss in general, I think. Thanks!
Jennifer, this is such a powerful and emotional page and so beautiful too. You couldn't have described the feeling of suffering a miscarriage any more perfectly.