"Reminders" by Amanda

This challenge was one of those where the journaling came to me quickly and easily. After the fact, of course, I started second-guessing myself...wondering whether I should have gone a different route. I could, for example, have done a layout about how I imagine my dad would have interacted with my boys...what they have in common. I could have done a layout about how my family's life would be different if my dad were still alive...particularly how his being alive would change the family farm situation. I could have done a layout with things I imagine he'd say to me today. 

But. I didn't go with any of those approaches. Instead, I followed a train of thought that's been with me since the first year after my dad died. I wrote about how much my uncles remind me of him. 

Note, that picture is one of my favorites and is of my dad (in the middle) with two of his three brothers back in 1981. These are the two brothers who are still alive today.

Here's the journaling:

Hey Dad. I’m working on this challenge for the Good Grief Blog that I started in your memory. The challenge is to do a layout imagining what you’d be like today. Well. I don’t really have to imagine. Remember how you always told me that Uncle Ignatius was so very like your own dad? How you could imagine that that’s how your dad would look and act had he lived to be as old as his younger brother?

I find myself in a similar situation now. The handful of times I’ve seen Uncle Steve and Uncle Tom since you died, I’ve had to do double takes. Their voices sound just like yours. The way they say things (and the brevity with which they speak) are just like you. At a glance, they even look like you. It’s a little disconcerting. And a little comforting.

It’s weird. Before you died, I never really thought you guys looked alike. I know that your personalities were definitely different. You were by far the most quiet in the group, the most purely good. Your brothers will never be able to copy that. It’s what made you “you” and why I love you. But. Now that you’re gone, I find myself noticing the similarities between you and your brothers more than ever. I know they’ll never, ever replace you. But thank you for being genetically similar enough to your brothers that you can leave me these reminders.

Please share your own story about your loved one and what he/she might be like today. Link us up in the comments section of the original challenge post before the next challenge goes up on June 15. Thanks!!

Comments

[Deb]

Beautiful, Amanda, and how I can relate! My dad died 3 years ago and at a recent family picnic we hosted I noticed just how much my dad's younger brother (by 9 years) favors him, in looks, in mannerisms, in voice inflections and how he says certain things. For a moment, I "almost" thought I was looking at my dad--and it brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for putting into words what I've been thinking, too.

[Martha]

Awesome photo...and journaling...thank you for sharing.

[Kerry]

Hi Amanda

I wish I could relate to comparing my Dad to a sibling as it would certainly console the broken hearts left behind. We are three daughters and a son, whom lost our father recently on the 3rd of may 2010 when another vehicle swung out going head on into my father. My dad was a man of God and served Him faithfully to the end, taking food parcels up to the pensioners in Zimbabwe, and played a huge roll in the Zimbabwe Pensioners Fund. His sister passed away a month before to cancer and his brother lives in the UK so we have had little to do with him since childhood. My Brother however has inherited alot of my Dads mannerisims like his laugh, and his first Son whom will be the first boy to carry on the Nimmo name is due in a few days time. My little sister has my dads spunkie and humourous personality, so in essence, My dad has left a peace of himself in all of us, his children. It is the hardest thing to loose a parent, and a piece of our hearts have certainley gone with him, every day is hard and we need to remind ourself that we cannot just pick up a phone just to call him. But the fact the we a children of God makes the pain much more easier bea, and knowing that he stands next to God now and looks down on us all, makes me smile. His favourite verse was Jeramiah 29:11-15 - " For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD," plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. I miss him so much.
www.kerryathome-riversofjoy.blogspot.com

Yours in Christ
Kerry